What you focus on, grows 

I hit a wall! I was becoming increasingly overwhelmed by all the things I could not do and had no idea how to overcome.

I thought I’d be seen as a failure for not being able to keep up, not being able to hit the mark and I really wanted to just give it all up…

So, I took a step back. Well, a few steps if I’m honest! I had to look at everything that was getting on top of me and try to choose just one thing to focus on, just for now.

I chose to complete an online course I’d begun a few months back. I enrolled on the course to help me with our business however, the more the business grew, the less time I had for my studies.

I knew I had to complete the course however the excuses were piling up … ok, maybe not excuses so much but let’s say my priorities were all over the place! Although the course was started to help me progress in my role, I realised how great the other consequences would be if I did not complete it.

From a financial aspect, if the course (which was free) was not completed by the end of the academic year, I would incur a charge. There was no way I was going to pass up qualifying for free because I didn’t have the time!!

As a parent, I could not continue to encourage my children to “never give up”, “finish what you started”, or say “you’ve got this” in all honesty if I did not take my own advice and complete the course! The whole family had seen me in many a stressful mood when my assessments were due in and each had been as helpful as they could be throughout.

Whatever I do or say, I’m a constant example to my children and so, you can imagine how wonderful it was to share with them that mummy had successfully completed her course!!! They were as pleased for me as I was for myself and as soon as that certificate of accreditation arrives, I’m framing it!

“Don’t stop until you’re proud”

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Remember why you started

Starting something new can be both exciting and scary but no matter which emotion it evokes, there is always a reason behind the decision.

If you want to get fit, you decide to sign up to the gym but if you’re feeling a little body conscious, this could make you feel slightly apprehensive.

Maybe you want to go to university to get the degree you missed out on when you were younger. Being in a lecture theatre filled with teenagers can be quite a daunting thought, especially if you’ve been out of education for a very long time.

Whatever the situation is and regardless of how it makes you feel, your focus should remain on the reason WHY and not the excuses creeping in to change your mind…

Your reason behind wanting to get fitter could be based on health reasons. You may have been recently diagnosed with high blood pressure and really want to get back to good health. That should be enough to get you through any anxiety you may feel about how you look compared to others.

With regards to the degree, your career may depend on it and in order to succeed professionally, you have to achieve it so even if you are the oldest student in the room, that should not deter you from your goal.

When you remember the important things, it helps to motivate and push you forward. There will always be an excuse to try and put you off but your opportunity may only be a one time offer. If you want your goal badly enough, you’ll do whatever it takes to reach it and when you do get there … smash it!!!

You can have results or excuses … the choice is yours!

Slow and steady wins the race…

Where did the last week go?!

I’ve been moving so slowly recently because our family was suffering from a cold, all of us in different forms i.e. headaches, runny noses, coughs, sneezes etc. My husband and older son could look after themselves (to a point, at least!) but dealing with myself and the baby was really draining … I just could not get the energy to do any work so you can imagine how my to-do-list looked!

I know that there will always be an ‘unscheduled event’ that occurs throughout the day, week or month. For example, our little one is currently teething and it’s very hard work indeed – for both of us! This one is tooth no.7 so I know that there’s much, much more to come … and then some!!

To us adults, babies seem to develop rather quickly but for them, each step takes quite a long time to perfect. When learning to sit up, a baby will fall backwards or to the side many times before their little muscles are strengthened enough to hold them up in a seated position. Learning to walk consists of plenty of tumbles and bumps too, but they do not give up!

I should take an example from our little one because with each milestone he’s achieved, he slowly and steadily persevered to master it and I know he’ll slowly work out those first steps to begin walking and tick yet another box on the milestone list. And if he’s not stressed about his “to-do list”, why should I be?!

Although we’re all back to full health now, it’s still been hard to catch up with everything I lacked energy for last week! I was telling my husband how I was feeling and he simply said, ‘the tortoise won, didn’t he?!’ Which was his way of telling me to keep going! No matter what happens in our lives, endurance is key so even if the situation is difficult, we cannot give up!

“It doesn’t matter how slowly you go,

as long as you do not stop”

Am I teachable?

Have you ever had a great idea for something … while you’re asleep?

It happens to me quite often, from knowing which outfit to wear the next day, to what to prepare for the evening meal! But sometimes, it’s an idea about how to be more productive in my role, or a great topic for a blog post .. the only problem is that I can’t recall the whole idea once I’m awake!?!

I used to think my husband was a little crazy when I’d hear him in his office, in the middle of the night, making voice notes on his phone but when he explained that this was how he brings his ‘night ideas’ to fruition, it began to make sense!

Maybe I need to take a leaf out of his book, learn from experience and who knows, I may actually be able to retain any thoughts that cross my mind during the night (or at any other time!)

But even when I am awake and ‘fully alert’, I can struggle to retain information. For example, if my husband is having a conversation with me while I’m changing the baby, and he begins to talk about issues relating to the business, it can be difficult to take everything in.

In response to this, I asked him if we could have a set time together, to go through the minor details of the business when I can focus, take notes or record for future reference. Quite proactive, right?! I’m trying my best but I’m sure something else will come up that teaches me something new…

Being new to my current role, I’m learning from all of the experienced people around me, those who have paved the way for women like myself to step out into the realm of owning businesses. My husband would be the person I learn from most, and now I’m thankful to be meeting more and more people through the wonderful world of Social Media, who are all as equally encouraging as my husband.

“Everything in life comes to you as a teacher.
Pay attention.
Learn quickly”

What am I thinking?

What am I thinking? Most of the time it’s the mundane issues such as “Are there enough clean school shirts for the rest of the week?”, “Did I defrost the chicken for dinner?”...

But sometimes, my thoughts are a little deeper, more intense and can often leave me feeling overcome with negative feelings. Thoughts become actions so if I allow myself to become overwhelmed, how will this show in my behaviours, my words…

Thankfully, thoughts can be changed! We can purposely choose what we want to meditate on and change our mindset.

For example, with the housework I can change the following thoughts from “There’s just too much to do and the baby won’t settle enough to even begin” to “I’ll tackle the smaller tasks while baby’s playing and get on with the others when he takes a nap

Wow, just typing that out made me feel a little better!!

Here’s where a good to-do list comes in handy .. I have mine on an app and I can take one task and break it down into subtasks so it makes life just that bit easier. Oh, the joy I feel ticking a box as ‘completed’, even if it is just one subtask out of five!!!

Planning your day in advance can have a positive effect on how you think. If you plan the night before, you can sleep well knowing there are steps in place to keep your life in order, instead of going to bed worrying about all the things that need doing in the house … see how easy it is for the negative thought spiral to begin!

Relax, and take things one step at a time and be thankful for every task you successfully complete, no matter how small it is!

“There are two things you are in total control of in life:
your attitude and your effort”

A short introduction

Hi, I’m Abiyah and I have created this blog to share my experiences as a newly established business woman, wife and mother.

My husband and I married in August 2017 and although we already had 4 older children between us, we welcomed our first baby together less than a year later!

My husband created our business shortly after our son was born and things are going really well, which we’re very thankful for.

I’ll tell you a little more about my take on the business in other blog posts but working alongside my husband is truly a blessing; he’s so encouraging and patient with me because, unlike him, I knew nothing about marketing! But I’m learning more every day and can sense a growing passion for this type of work.

I’m enjoying the journey so far and really look forward to what comes our way and of course, sharing it all with you too.

“Life is about creating and living experiences that are worth sharing” Steve Jobs